The DZ Origin Story

          On June 12, 2011 I am deciding which college I will attend to get my chemistry degree.  At my best friends' (Mr. and Mrs. M) bbq my friends ask about my decision to return to school to pursue a different career path.  I'm not yet positive about which school I want to attend.  I'd looked up top rated schools for chemistry and made an Excel sheet ordering them by affordability, distance, rank, and other interesting attributes the schools offer.  At one point while chatting in the living room, my college friend A suggests I speak with her cousin who attends a highly rated school in Chicago.  She says he'll be at the bbq she and J are throwing on the 25th and that he can tell me about the school and some of the neat projects he's working on.  I am already leaning toward one school and the school her cousin goes to is definitely not within my affordability zone, but I politely say I'd love to speak with him, anyway.  Secretly I'm not much looking forward to the conversation because I am not good at small talk, and what else do strangers talk about?  Maybe I'll get lucky and he won't show up, or at least plenty of friends will be around to rescue me if the need arises.

All muddy after running my first Warrior Dash.  I loved the coolness of that mud so much.

          By June 25th sore legs from running my first Warrior Dash the previous Sunday put thoughts of cousins from my mind.  I am just looking forward to another day spent eating great food and hanging out with my favorite people.  I ride to J's apartment with the Ms after gassing up and grabbing cookies at the store.  It is nice getting to see so many college friends together again, and I am eating dessert when A's cousin arrives.  I glance over, curious to see what this guy looks like to see if I can predict how well this conversation might go (our eyes meet for less than a second and I get a sense that he is a nice guy) but I quickly return my focus to my dessert because staring might be rude.  Also, maybe I'll get lucky and she'll forget that she wanted me to speak with him.  I really dislike small talk.

          No luck.  As I'm listening to their conversation while also focusing on my cupcake I am suddenly summoned with a very enthusiastic, "Czarina!" as A beckons me over to meet her cousin, D.  Ok, is it just me or was that way too enthusiastic?  Something is clearly going on here that I don't know about and I'm guessing this poor guy probably doesn't either.  Yes, this feels like a set up.  I've never been set up before, I should also probably note I've never even been on a date before, but I've watched tv enough to be able to recognize a set up.  At least that means he'll probably feel as awkward as I do.

          I get up to greet him and A introduces us, starting the conversation by asking D to tell me about the project he's currently working on.  Now it might be good to mention here that he was still practically in the entryway and I was leaning up against the arm of the couch.  D starts telling me about a mechanism that his lab is trying to create that can land on vertical walls with hopes of future space applications.  He starts talking about electrostatic adhesion and explaining the science behind it and, as my journal that night says I was blown away.  Sure she told me he was into science but she didn't say he was super smart!  As he describes all of this another guest I don't know asks questions and they start talking and understanding each other and My gosh, I felt way less intelligent than normal.  I understand most of what he talks about but not as deeply and clearly as I would like.  Listening to these two guys talk reminds me of when my dad and brother start talking about their work and it all goes over my head using terminology that is specific to their field rather than plain English.  We are still standing near the entryway, well actually I've been sitting on the armrest for quite some time now, and finally someone suggests we take a seat on the couch to continue our conversation.

          Once we're seated and he's helped me open my impossible water bottle we start talking about other things.  I learn that his childhood has a lot of similarities to mine full of a variety of animals, a cornfield and some woods just outside or near our backyards that we both enjoyed visiting, and we both have a slight interest in cars although I prefer them for their aesthetic qualities and he knows more about the mechanical side.  Maybe I can learn something from him!  We've been talking just the two of us mostly, ignoring much of everything else going on at the party, for at least a couple hours now.  Other than his intelligence and interesting childhood I note several qualities about his character and I am quite certain that I have just met a truly GOOD person.  I feel far more comfortable speaking with him than I expected to, and I feel like he's someone I can trust instantly and for me, that is huge.

          With me trust is something that people usually have to earn.  I don't often give out trust freely to people I've just met.  A poor guy in high school got (hopefully) kindly shot down by me because I didn't trust him enough to ever want to be alone with him, and how does someone go on dates without ever being alone even if just briefly in a car?  Yet, within this conversation I feel nothing but good vibes, so to speak, from D.  There are no little alarms or warning bells going off in my head or even a shadow of suspicion that anything he has said or done was full of anything but kindness.  No sneaky arm finding its way around my shoulder, no hand reaching for my knee, no hint of anything even mildly improper.  There is definitely something special about this guy.  To make a long story short, when I say he's someone special I mean I can actually picture an 'us' with him . . . All I know is that I would really like to get to know him a lot better.  And with that feeling in mind, as the Ms and I are about to head out the door I realize I must have some way of contacting him again.  I'm not bold enough to ask for a phone number as I'm not good on phones; I just can't hear as well without being able to also see lips moving.  So instead I ask if he has a Facebook page, and thankfully he does.

          As my friends tell it, when I stood up to leave D "practically jumped over the couch" to say goodbye.  Oh I wanted to hug him right then and there, he was just so adorable, but with so many people watching our departure there was no way I would do that.  After making sure I knew how to reach him online we left and started the drive home.  The Ms asked once, very casually, what I thought about D and I admitted that he seemed very nice.  They didn't press any further so I kept the more exciting thoughts of a possible 'us' to myself as I sat smiling in the backseat.

          It wasn't until two days later that I started getting some of the details on the setup.  Apparently this wasn't the first time A, J, and D's sister wanted D and I to meet, but the other plans never worked out, once because I didn't go to the party.  So this plan had been around for months if not a year or more.  On the 25th the Ms had been in charge of making sure I showed up to the party, and they made the very wise decision of not letting on that anything was up or I might have had a sudden "bout of the flu" or something and skipped the party.  Today, D and I both agree that it was good that I wasn't informed.  He did know that I was someone they wanted him to meet, and I'm impressed that he still showed instead of chickening out.  I guess he is braver than I am.

          We started chatting online and on the night of the 28th he finally asked me out!  I say finally because it wasn't quick enough for me.  If he'd waited any longer I would have asked him out.  I swear to you that before I met D I had a lot of patience.  Waiting 24 years to go on a first date should be evidence enough of that.  But ever since I've met D my patience has vanished, and not in a bad way.  I'm  antsy to start dating him.  I'm antsy to get to know everything about him.  I'm antsy to tell him I love him.  I'm antsy to start talking about the future of us.  I'm antsy to get engaged and be married and live together and start 'our' life.

          But just as I lose my patience, I am once again forced to wait.  My family is going on vacation out of state and the earliest possible date would be the 7th.  We set the date, not wanting to wait any longer than we must.